Saiyaara

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SPOILER WARNING

Do not proceed if you don't want any spoilers for the movie Saiyaara.

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I watched Saiyaara today and honestly cannot stop thinking about it, the soundtrack in now on repeat and probably be for a while. I went to watch it without watching the trailer and minimal context for the movie beyond it being a love story. I went to watch it because I'd heard Alanna Panday mention her brother debut film on her Youtube channel, and was curious to see Ahaan Panday beyond her camera lens.

I left the cinema hall two and half hours later, having cried throughout the movie, wiping away tears that continued to flow for the characters Krish and Vaani, for a love story filled with loss and heartbreak every step of the way, for a love as endless as stars in the sky.

Saiyaara reminded me of a poem I had worked on back in 2022 based on an idea to write a poem for a couple where one partner has Alzheimer's. While I don't think I ever completed the poem to the point I would have liked, I thought I'd share it now, with a little glimpse into how it came to be.

How it came to be:

I wonder if that kind of love still exists.

One worth losing yourself for, one worth dying for.

I want to know that love,

the one that breaks you

but at the same time

teaches you to breathe.

I want the good and the bad.

I want a love that leaves you with endless memories,

even if it lasts a short time.

I want a loveworth remembering

when I take my last breath.

*Make it about Alzheimer's

What I drafted:

I remembered you

the way our shoulders brushed against each other

as to strangers in a crowd

our eyes locking, and for that moment

it was as though the whole world stopped watching

and when you smiled,

oh that wondrous smile,

you took my breath away

And everyday after

was more than i could dream of

the life we built

the memories we made

I try to remember

but slowly its started to fade

Before

you came and went in flashes

But now,

I see you standing at that door

with tears in your eyes and that smile

Oh that wondrous smile

I don't know why

but to this day

it gives me butterflies

*Write this is 2 perspectives -> the wife & the husband

What it became (so far):

Husband

I see you from a distance

I'm waiting at the door

Too scared to take a step forward

Because you don't know

Who I am anymore

I remember you

My love

The way our shoulders brushed

Just two strangers in a crowd

But then our eyes met,

And just for a moment,

The world stopped watching

When you put your hand in mine

I knew

I would never let go

Wife

I see you standing at the door

Watching the tears fill your eyes

You look towards me

But you stare,

In a trance

Lost

In some other time

Husband

Now

I'm standing six feet away

Unable to place my hands in yours

Believe me when I say,

All I want to do is crumble and fall

but then,

I catch you watching

So I muster up my best smile

Even though I know

That for you

It's nothing more than a stranger's smile

But for me,

I know

I'm smiling at the love of my life

The love

I can no longer call mine

Wife

Your eyes meet mine

And I almost ask you to stop staring

But then,

You smile

Oh that wondrous smile

I don't know why,

But

It's giving me butterflies

My poem itself doesn't encompass the level of emotions I wished to convey, however I felt every emotion I was looking for within Saiyaara. While I may not be there yet, those emotions are what I hope to one day be able to convey through my writing. A movie playing within your mind as though you are watching it, a film created with only words.